Autumn depression

I do not know how and I do not know why, but I feel horrible. Even though we have had some great weekends with friends (Lisa, Olga & Janine, Stéphanie & Robin, Werner & José) and some lovely things to look forward too (e.g. we are hosting a Halloween party, Olaf is going to DC again while I am going to visit Marike in Rome, Marie & Tom's upcoming wedding and, of course, our 2,5-week holiday to Ethiopia over Christmas), I simply cannot seem to enjoy myself.

The weather sucks, to put it mildly, it is only mid-October and temperatures have dropped phenomenally (max day temperatures between 6 and 9 degrees C) and it rains every day. It seems it has been a long time since the trees abounded with beautiful autumn colours, the rain has swept the leaves off the branches and many trees look sad and depressed, ready for winter. I suppose the concept of another year ending would not bother me as much if I did not know what was coming. Winter was hell last year, three months of frozen snow cover and day temperatures of -15 to -20 degrees. The prospect of another winter like this, or, according to some Siberian scientists, the harshest winter in a thousand years, is simply freaking me out. My fingers and toes froze on a nearly daily basis, the skin on my hands dried out and started to come off and getting anywhere in the city just took incredibly long - which worsened the physical suffering substantially.

You see, they do not really fight the snow in Berlin. Some people get their skis out, some big roads are cleared, but that is it. Cycling becomes almost impossible, ground transport and cars basically come to a halt and the metro, though working, is usually overcrowded and never on time. Last winter, we were away for a month and I did not have that many clients. This year, most of my clients are in remote locations at the edges of Berlin, places public transport does not really get to. I am afraid I will be forced to cycle for hours (which in summer, or at least when it does not rain is quite enjoyable) and that things will be even worse than last winter.

I am sure I will feel better at some point, but right now I cannot really see the end of it. I am imagining 5 months of utter hell and wanting to stay inside. Even the lead-up to Christmas with all its colours, music, markets and glühwein cannot really rally my spirits. For now, I am just really done with this country and would like to move to the equator.

I do not really want to bore all of you with my whining, but this blog is about what is going on in my life - and this is pretty much it. But I will stop now and supply you with some lovely pictures of past events, things you might actually enjoy. They were taken in Park Sanssouci in Potsdam which I visited with Stéphanie and Robin:

Autumn colours

Playing with light

Friedenskirche

The scoundrels themselves